Perils of a freelancer

I've been working as a freelance writer for about a year and a half now. I survived (yes, freelancing initially is all about barely surviving, but more on that another time) the initial phase more or less through a regular project, which helped earn just enough to pay my monthly bills -- sometimes a wee bit extra. I pride myself on having managed my finances pretty well during that period.

However, as do most good (and bad) things. the project came to end. I was lucky enough to get a couple of other tiny, non-time-consuming, fairly simple projects to help me get by. When I was done with those, my dad offered me pay for doing some work in one of his varied MLM ventures. Life was good.

Then, I decided to take a break and help my brother out in the making of his new movie (I intended to actually just tag along, but the sibling made me work). That lasted for about a month and soon after I disappeared to Mumbai to sit in on the edit -- another 3 weeks or so. I was expecting at least 2 new writing projects when I came back home

When I returned home, filled with the euphoria that is movie making, I happened to peek into my bank account. Rs. 18, 355. Okay. I'll still be able to make my car EMI, monthly insurance premium and mobile bill, due in 5 days. But let's not forget I'd spent 3 weeks in Mumbai, not to mention the cost of my air tickets, which was so far happily residing in my credit card bill.

I turned to dad. He said the MLM thingy had gotten into some trouble so no more pay. Project no.1 got canceled and I had to return the advance payment made to me (Rs. 12,950). Project no. 2 would start after a week. I was left with Rs. 5,405. There weren't enough paper bags around for me to hyperventilate into.

How could I have forgotten the two irritating golden (and unwritten) rules of freelance work?? 1) You don't have work till you actually start working. 2) You work now and the income cycle starts at least 2 months later.

So I decided to do what most broke people do. Take a loan. From dad. Now, that might not be such a big deal for most people after all it's all in the family. But for me…remember my pride in the first paragraph? Cringing inwardly till my intestines ached, I asked dad to please cover my expenses for this month and I would repay him as soon as my next payment came through. (I wasn't fibbing. I was expecting a small payment for work I had done TWO months earlier).

Dad agreed without much ado. Relief. Next step, pushing for contract of Project no. 2. Irritating golden rule number 3 of freelancing is that you have to be pushy beyond pushiness. Whether it is to get work or ask for money (never mind that it is rightfully yours).

So, I began pushing. Appointment to sign the contract -- done. Next, follow up to get pending cheque. I make the call and get to know that my payment cheque cannot be signed because…wait, you need to savor this…because the CEO has TENNIS ELBOW and cannot sign cheques right now, so I will have to wait a while. I actually went to the extent of asking if her thumbprint wouldn't be enough for the cheque. I was, understandably, laughed at.

I made other frantic calls -- asking for work, reminding people I existed. I updated my LinkedIn profile, joined freelance writing and editing groups online. And waited.

While I waited, I evaluated my situation. Dues: Loan from Dad; next month's bills. Sources of possible income: Pending cheque; income from Project 2.

The contract for Project 2 got signed, work began but I could raise an invoice only after a month of work and the payment would take another 20-25 days to come through. Okay, so that was out.

I evaluated some more. I couldn't earn, but could I cut costs? Can't do nuts about car EMI or insurance premium. Mobile bill. Hmmm.

First step, switch from Blackberry unlimited services plan (Rs. 599/month) to GPRS plan (Rs. 198/month). Second, make sure I pick up all calls so I don't have to call anyone back. If call disconnects, wait for the other person to call (sounds cheap I know, but all's fair in love and brokeness). Third, stay connected through Facebook, Whatsapp and other free tools because you can't afford not staying connected -- how will people know you need work?

What other expenses could I cut down on? Plead insufficient funds while out on a movie with folks and let them pay for everything. I don't socialize much, so not much to cutback here.

What else? Personal grooming. Yikes! More hyperventilation. Hold on, there must be some way of spending less, yet not resembling the Yeti. Replace getting waxed with shaving (It's just for a couple of months, I told myself. How much damage can a razor do to your skin in two months? You're young, it'll recover!). Do your manicure and pedicure at home (Yes, it's possible). Pluck what you would normally thread.

How else was I letting precious moolah slip out of my hands? What was in my shopping list? Shampoo. And conditioner. You should know that I have, at least once, tried every shampoo out there in the market. That most of them don't suit my hair, is another story, but I always, always try. So, what I have around my room are a variety of half-filled shampoo bottles. And a couple of odd tubs of conditioner. I swear I heard my hair sigh when I decided to just finish off those leftover shampoos and give the conditioner a skip every now and then. My hair have now forgiven me and I still have one more leftover bottle to experiment with so the shampoo shopping can wait at at least another 2 weeks. Yay!

Okay, so I was all cost-cut. Now what? Followed up the tennis elbow cheque again and I was grateful that they sent it. I wasn't quite as grateful, however, to my bank, which misplaced the cheque after I deposited it. More pushing, this time to find the goddamn elusive cheque.

To cut a long story short, almost 3 weeks after my return from Mumbai, the cheque was found and cleared. And I breathed a deep breath. I could now (with Rs. 1,125 to spare) pay my EMI, insurance premium and mobile bill. Dad's loan could wait another month. But (there's always a but) a very polite phone call soon told me that it is going to be a year since I bought my car (congratulations) and it's time to renew my car insurance. Aaaaaaaaghhhh!

Now, I was roughly Rs. 4,000 short, with 2 weeks to go for the car insurance renewal. I had no more money coming in and was dreading asking Dad for some more. I sat back and left it to the universe. Gimme a miracle.

The miracle happened. In the midst of all this nonsense, an old gentleman all the way from Seattle, USA, happened to like my Linkedin profile and asked me to proofread an e-book that he's writing. We came to the negotiation stage, which I quickly changed to "pay whatever you can" stage. I hastened to open a PayPal account. Note: Opening an account is quite simple, getting one verified? Not so much. The account got verified two days ago. The money (Rs. 4,250) got transferred from Seattle to my PayPal account yesterday and will come into my bank account in anywhere between "5-7 days depending on your bank's policies and holiday schedule".

I have precisely 10 days before I need to renew my car insurance. I should be stressed. But now I know that miracles do happen so I think I'm just going to enjoy the September rain.