Anxiety

You gotta distract yourself from anxiety before your body gets too attached to it. The thing is, anything the body and mind get used to, they miss. And whatever they miss, they will bring back.

Anxiety doesn't come and go. It's here. And there. How well you learn to distract yourself decides whether anxiety stays a visitor or a part of your being, lovingly kept warm by your attachment.

Letting Go

Holding on is easy. It's the letting go that boils your brain cells. Letting go of status quo. Letting go of the need for attention. Letting go of the need to be always right. Letting go of wanting to have the last word (very tough one, that). Letting go of dependence.

Give me white knuckles and aching fists over open, empty palms, any day.

Change

There is no end to how much you can change yourself. The question is, how much change is really needed? Change to a brand new person? And then continue to change to another one?

Or a tweak here and there, so that you feel satisfied that you have done something to make a change, then suddenly realize it was all fluff when one day you find yourself back to where you started from?

Or maybe the trick is to just make one tiny adjustment and just learn to accept. Accept that people will be different. Accept that expectations and reality are rarely a matched set. Accept that there are days when you will be the dog and days when you will be the tree. That there will be days when you will feel lower than low and moments that you couldn't possibly have imagined could bring such ecstasy.

It's just a change in form. From ice to water to vapor and then back. Over and over again.

Convenience vs. drama

After a certain age, men thrive on convenience and comfort. Of course, there are exceptions. Those who apparently can't live without romance and shower you with attention -- when they're not too busy causing you emotional grief or prancing about in high drama.

A cog in a convenience-based relationship or Desdemona in a life with a drama king...you choose your poison.